Do I have to go?

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Last Updated on Monday, 08 October 2012 15:07

 A Minnesota high school coach touts the merits of staying home to play hockey

By Ken Pauly
Head Coach, Benilde-St. Margaret’s School
President, MHCA

The headline in the September 7 issue of Let’s Play Hockey asks “Should I stay or should I go?” It’s a good question, but the better question is “Do I have to go?”

It will come as no surprise that Minnesota’s high school hockey coaches would answer that question with an emphatic NO! Is this an emotional response? Perhaps.

But the emotion is based upon experience. All parents know the feeling of watching a child make a mistake that he will soon regret. The parent would like to make the decision, but you know that too often the hardest lessons in life have be lived in order to be learned. Besides, who wants to listen to mom and dad? What do they know?

High School coaches often find themselves in this type of situation. Today’s high school player has more options. It is a consumer’s market and players and their families will often view their high school experience in these terms.

 There is some logic to this as many players chase collegiate and professional dreams. For those in this category, the information, misinformation and pressures can be overwhelming. There is no shortage of those who would guide your “career” and offer advice. Of course, this advice often comes with a hefty membership fee.

The high school coach could serve as a trusted voice – someone who could help guide the decision. But, like the parent, they are often the last person a player or his family will turn to.

This is truly sad because high school hockey coaches care deeply about their players. High school coaches know how important the complete high school experience is for each player. The motivation is not based on monetary reward or “future considerations.”

Does a coach like to lose his best player to a junior team? Of course not! But, and this is key, no high school coach would ever want to hang onto a player if the cost would damage that young man’s future. Who would want a student-athlete to sit in a basic algebra class when he should be taking calculus?

If a player has “mastered” high school hockey, why shouldn’t they test themselves at the next level? A player should test himself at the next level, but he should never do it too soon and he should never do it if the cost is the mortgaging of his full high school experience  – and his further development as a player and leader.

Minnesota’s high school coaches have watched too many kids respond to the call of the promise of acceleration only to see those promises come crashing down. After all, what does it hurt a scout, advisor or college coach if the player doesn’t pan out? They will just move onto the “next one” – that’s the reality.

We could fill up a page in this issue of Let’s Play Hockey of those players who left early and who were once considered top prospects as underclassmen. Someone convinced them to “accelerate” and that that they were wasting time in high school. Those players “crashed and burned.” They never panned out and, the vast majority, regret it – deeply.

Why don’t we list those names? Because we are not in the business of “I told you so.” And it would be classless and hurtful.

The flip side to this coin is that you can achieve every collegiate and professional dream that you have while staying in your own bed, enjoying your senior year with your friends and playing your last season of high school hockey. You can continue to improve, have fun and in many cases leave a legacy.

This is not simply hyperbole. Let’s take a look at some recent examples:

Kyle Rau (Eden Prairie High School) almost left for Sioux Falls in his senior year. What if he had left? He would have traded scoring the overtime goal to send his team to the state tournament in a classic Section 6AA matchup at Mariucci Arena. He would have mortgaged scoring the overtime goal to win the state championship. And he would have mortgaged a Mr. Hockey honor. Did those who encouraged Kyle to leave explain what he would give up? It’s doubtful. At best they played the “neutral party.” Oh, and after Kyle helped his team achieve great things in his senior year, he joined Sioux Falls and was placed on their power play and was that team’s most effective forward.

Grant Besse (Benilde-St. Margaret’s School) was told he should leave before his junior year. What would he have mortgaged? Well, a five-goal performance in the state championship game that will go down as one of the greatest achievements in the tournament’s history. There were junior coaches who were still pressuring him to leave after his junior year – but Grant and his family will have none of it.

Justin Kloos (Lakeville South High School). There was no shortage of people who were telling this talented senior to get out of Lakeville South. What if Kloos had listened to them? He would have mortgaged a Mr. Hockey award to be sure. But, perhaps more importantly, he led Lakeville South to a stirring upset of Duluth East in the state tournament and to that school’s highest finish in the tournament. In short, he left a legacy.

Yes, you might say, “Yes, that’s great for those guys but we don’t have a chance to go to the state tournament and our team isn’t that good.” It’s a fair objection. Very few teams end up in St. Paul and even fewer players end up in the admirable position of the examples offered. But we would suggest talking to St. Louis Blues forward David Backes who finished his high school career at Spring Lake Park High School. His team was defeated in the semifinals of the sectional tournament, but David will tell you that he would not trade that senior year for anything. He also will tell you that some of his deepest and most lasting friendships were made with those teammates.

Backes’s experience is the reality for most players. Most seasons will end in tears and disappointment. But the tears are only because a player cares so much for what has been lost. They are tears for something that you can never get back.

A player’s decision to stay in high school isn’t validated because he might be a Mr. Hockey candidate or his team will go to the state tournament. Achievements are something to be proud of and to celebrate – but in many ways they are not lasting. What is truly lasting are the friendships, shared challenges and memories. But once the lights go out, the memories will remain.

Never mortgage something as precious as that.